Therapy for Perfectionism In Person and Online
Transform Your Story: Overcome
Perfectionism
What is Perfectionism?
Perfectionism is characterized as striving for flawlessness and setting exceedingly high standards for oneself. It is often accompanied by concerns about making mistakes and errors, and there tends to be critical evaluation of oneself and one's work. Humans, however, are not perfect and we were never intended to be. It’s part of the definition of being human.
Perhaps we emotionally pursue perfectionism because we believe it will make us more likable, more successful, or outstanding. In our efforts to find happiness, we may try to constantly improve upon our perceived deficiencies and doggedly strive to be perfect. The problem with pursuing perfection to solve our feelings of inadequacies is that it doesn’t address the true source of why we feel inadequate to begin with. We rarely resolve problems by indirectly dealing with it. For example, an individual may go to great lengths to change the way she looks to feel more attractive. Changing one’s outward appearance may make the individual feel better about herself. However, if the feeling derived from this “fix” is temporary satisfaction and/or she believes she must change another aspect of her appearance, then making outward alterations to her appearance is likely not the answer. Rather, addressing issues related to self esteem and negative self evaluation may be the key to overcoming perfectionism and feeling happier.
Why do High Achievers Struggle with Perfectionism?
It is important to note that not all high achievers are perfectionists. However, perfectionism can be a common trait among high achievers. There are a few reasons why high achievers may strive for perfectionism.
Perfectionism can be a driving force
Perfectionism can motivate high achievers to strive for excellence. They may set high standards for themselves and may be unwilling to settle for anything less than perfect. This can lead them to work hard and to achieve great things.
Perfectionism can be a coping mechanism
Perfectionism can also be a way for high achievers to cope with anxiety or stress. They may feel like they need to be perfect in order to be accepted or to avoid criticism. This can lead them to be overly critical and to put a lot of pressure on themselves.
Perfectionism can be a way to avoid failure
Perfectionism can also be a way for high achievers to avoid failure. They may be afraid of making mistakes or of not being good enough. Consequently, this may lead them to procrastinate or to avoid taking risks.
Perfectionism can provide a sense of control
High achievers may have a strong need for control, and they may strive for perfection as a way to feel in control of their lives. They may believe that if they can control everything, they can avoid mistakes and failure.
Perfectionism is expected
High achievers may have been praised for being perfect in the past, and they may have internalized this message. They may believe that they need to be perfect in order to be loved, accepted, or successful.
Two Types of Perfectionism: Adaptive and Maladaptive
Adaptive perfectionism
This is a healthier form of perfectionism that can motivate people to achieve their goals. This type of top achiever sets high standards for themselves, but also embraces imperfection and learns from their mistakes. They are typically motivated by a desire to do their best and to achieve their goals, but they are cognizant to not let their perfectionism get in the way of their happiness or well-being.
Maladaptive perfectionism
Maladaptive perfectionism, on the other hand, is unhealthy and harmful. High achievers who set unrealistic standards for themselves and are overly critical of their performance, engage in a destructive form of perfectionism. Maladaptive perfectionists are often motivated by a fear of failure, and it can affect their ability to move forward. This drive towards perfectionism can have negative consequences for one's mental and emotional well-being. It can interfere with the individual’s relationship with family and friends as well as their ability to function in work, school and other areas of life. It can also lead to anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, and other mental health problems.
Maladaptive perfectionism can have several negative effects on high achievers. This approach makes it difficult to be flexible and to adapt to change, and it can lead to:
Stress and anxiety
High achievers who strive for perfectionism in a maladaptive way are often under a lot of stress and anxiety because they are constantly under pressure. In addition to the emotional challenges, this can lead to physical health problems (i.e., headaches, stomach aches, and sleep difficulties).
Low self-esteem
They are frequently overcritical of themselves, and they may experience low self-esteem. High achievers engaging in maladaptive perfectionism may believe that they are never good enough, and they may be constantly comparing themselves to others.
Procrastination
They may procrastinate because they are afraid of making mistakes. The thought of failing may be too distressing, so they put off starting a task until they feel that they can do it perfectly.
Burnout
They may be at risk for burnout because they are constantly pushing themselves to the limit. They may not take breaks, and they may not take care of their physical and mental health.
The motivation or reason behind one’s desire for perfectionism and how the individual manages it can positively or negatively impact how well they live.
How Can High Achievers Cope with Maladaptive Perfectionism?
Perhaps, some bigger questions to ponder include “what is perfection” really, and is it actually attainable? Will there always be room for improvement, no matter how hard you try? Our world is constantly changing, and so are our needs and desires; will what we consider to be perfect today be perfect tomorrow?
How one defines perfection can vary quite drastically from how another person views perfection. So, if perfection can be defined differently as well as redefined over time, maybe striving for “perfection” is futile. A shift in focus may help. Here are some of the things that can help you to cope with maladaptive perfectionism:
Set realistic expectations and goals
Is it realistic to believe that perfection is actually attainable? It is vital to set realistic expectations about being perfect and set goals that you truly value and enjoy (vs. show for others).
Focus on the process, not the outcome
When you are working on a task, focus on the process of learning and improving, not just on the outcome. This will help you to stay motivated and to enjoy seeing your progress over time.
Challenge your mindset
There is a growing body of research that shows that people with a growth mindset (belief that our basic abilities can be developed through hard work, good strategies, and helpful input from others) are more likely to succeed in school, work and in life. People with a growth mindset believe that they can learn and grow, and they are not afraid to challenge themselves.
Some of the benefits of having a growth mindset:
- Increased resilience. People with a growth mindset are more likely to bounce back from setbacks and challenges. Because they believe that they can learn and grow from their mistakes, they are not easily discouraged.
- Increased motivation. They are more likely to be motivated to learn and to achieve their goals. They believe that they can improve their abilities through hard work and effort, so they are more likely to persevere in the face of challenges.
- Increased creativity. When people allow themselves the latitude to make mistakes and to learn from them, then they can be freer to take risks and try new things. As a result, they are likely to come up with new ideas and be more creative and innovative.
Be open to constructive feedback
Feedback can be hard to take sometimes, especially if you are critical of yourself. However, feedback can be a great way to learn and grow. When you receive feedback, be open to it and try to see it as an opportunity to move towards your full potential
Celebrate your successes
When you achieve a goal, take some time to celebrate your success whether it is big or small. This will help you to reinforce your belief that you can learn and grow.
Be self-compassionate
Everyone makes mistakes, so be kind and patient with yourself. Making mistakes can help you evolve, develop a growth mindset, and become more resilient.
Seek help if needed
If you struggle with maladaptive perfectionism, it can be quite overwhelming to manage on your own. Talk with someone that can understand the challenges you face and help you implement adaptive ways to cope and experience fulfillment.
Get Counseling to Overcome Perfectionism in Fort Lauderdale Florida and Online
Thank you for reading this resource about getting counseling for overcoming perfectionism. With over two decades of experience as a licensed psychologist, I've developed a deep understanding of the human mind, encompassing cognitive, emotional, and behavioral aspects. This extensive background equips me to effectively address a wide range of challenges people face. By combining research-based approaches with personalized care, I help clients achieve meaningful and lasting change. My priority for you is to create a kind of space where you feel at ease, understood and connected so that you can be yourself and work on the matters most important to you. I will help you cultivate self-compassion, curiosity, courage along with effective strategies to create the type of life you want.
My clients are remarkable individuals. It is a privilege to earn their trust and share in their most personal experiences. I see my clients as heroes in their life story, and I am inspired by their courage, strength and resilience.
I am Donna Hillier, a licensed clinical psychologist serving high-achieving clients in Florida. I provide discreet services uniquely customized for high-profile personalities, public figures and elite individuals who desire genuine connection and help from a professional who truly understands
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Who Donna Treats
I am Donna Hillier, a licensed clinical psychologist serving high-achieving clients in Florida. I provide discreet services uniquely customized for high-profiled personalities, public figures and elite individuals who desire genuine connection and help from a professional who truly understands.
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Donna provides services to clients globally online, as well as in person in the Fort Lauderdale and South Florida areas. Here are some of the great cities Donna serves in Florida:
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Donna provides therapy for high achievers using a variety of evidence-based treatment techniques including the following: